There was a time, back in the days when knife crime wasn't so prevalent and political correctness was something you thought was connected with Maggie Thatcher that the UK's undisputed number one potato crisp was made my Golden Wonder. Who can remember those beautiful dark blue packets of ready salted? Or maybe the light blue salt and vinegar flavour or even green cheese and onion?
It was easy for us UK mortals to understand and enjoy as we popped into the local newsie to buy some packs. There was a problem though and one that was going to be much much bigger than previously anticipated and what was that then? I'll tell you.....
The advent of Walkers Crisps - Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! These treacherous b*stards always produced crap stale crisps and in the WRONG COLOUR bags. Whats light blue? Of course poor unsuspecting crisp buyer, it's cheese and onion. WRONG!!! OK then, what's green? Well, that'll be salt and vinegar my friend. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Ready salted? Red? BUGGER RIGHT OFF.
Ready salted crisps come in a dark blue bag and make no mistake. Oh Golden Wonder, please come back, I miss your beauty, your taste and your bags.
How this small company called Walkers became so big and how they wiped out my beloved Golden Wonder I'll never know. And if someone mentions Gary bloody Lineker I'll shoo them away like a pesky fly.
Please please, crisp buying chums, avoid Walkers if that's at all possible.
Or at the very least, swear as you approach the crisp aisle at your local supermarket. Maybe something like "Oh fu*king hell I guess I'll buy these WRONGLY COLOURED B*STARD bags of crisps if I have to" or suchlike.
I may be emphasising wrong colours here but this in no way constitutes a racist rant. This only relates to crisp packets and way back when... when..... in the early 80s when....OK, I'll stop.
